Have “Boundaries” Made Us Worse Friends?

“They don’t owe you anything.”

“I don’t owe anyone a text back.”

“You don’t owe anyone anything!”

But…I think we do in some ways.

There seems to be an epidemic of people searching for a village they want, but not wanting to be a villager themself. Suddenly, we went from being humans who used to do each other a solid and give someone a ride to the airport, to having to pay for the $70 Uber ride.

Based on my own personal experience and discourse that has taken place online, some people seem to have lost the art of showing up for one another.

I remember when I was younger, my mom was the go to person to call when they realized they were going to file for divorce. Being divorced herself, with three young kids, she had some great advice and I am sure was just someone great to vent to. On her way to speak to them, she would drop us kids off at her friend Gloria’s house out of the blue. In order for those things to happen, a small string of people willing to be a community and a real friend had to take place.

Recently, I had multiple people bail on a friend of mines birthday. You know…it takes place on the same day every year. This way of thinking has created lazy friends, daughters, sons, etc, and has allowed people to hide behind weaponized “therapy speak”.

If you are not showing up for other people, don’t expect them to show up for you.

Make time for relationships you hold close when you can.

Take your sisters dog out for a 15 minute walk if she’s out of town.

Tell a friend why you aren’t in the place to text them back at the moment.

Over-individualism is killing the community everyone is yearning for, so be kind to those in your life who deserve it, or you will be at a table of one soon.